Eternal Tree

I had my Christmas tree up but I hadn't decorated it yet. I have got it pulled apart and I disconnected the old lights that were connected to the branches and the tree. I always assumed the cord never worked, and I almost cut it off once. But I'm so grateful I didn't. I was working on the bottom part of my tree by removing the lights and straightening the branches. I got the idea to try plugging my Christmas lights into the tree and the tree cord into the wall, and it worked! I had a tree that I could put my own lights on one time and leave them attached even as I put the tree away for next year. I was going to buy a new one, but I had a priceless opportunity to put my creative talent to use. I have set up the bottom part of the tree and hopefully I can get the rest of the tree set up soon. I found this tree 2 years ago sitting in front of a house in our old neighborhood ready to be thrown away, and decided we could use it until we could get a new tree. Now my eyes have been opened to the treasure I really had for the last 2 years.

Sometimes there are people in our lives, situations or circumstances we're in, that we see as I used to see this tree. We think it's okay for now, but I'll get a new one later. We miss out on the treasures we truly have in our lives. Sometimes we don't ever really know what we've missed out on, and other times it's only too clear what we've lost after it's gone. I have the habit that if I don't see someone or sometimes purpose soon, I feel it is a waste and try to remove it, or think "I'll be happy when..." and I've missed out on some very treasured moments and people in my life. I even see myself a lot like I did this tree, not worth much, ugly, used, not good enough. And I don't look at myself as the treasure Heavenly Father knows I am. 

I'm not going to buy another Christmas tree, as I have something worth more than money can buy: my eternal tree, AKA my eternal perspective on the many treasured people and circumstances of my life.

I had a blessing this morning and the Lord told me I have to love myself before I can love others in my life. I have been hard on myself for not getting up at 7am, for not being this bubbly, kind, perfect person I feel I should be, when that isn't realistic for me after everything I've been through, everything I live with. My focus was distorted, and I'm learning to be okay with being a little kinder, happier, positive, loving, a little more Christlike than I was yesterday. Because I know I'm smooth, because I am His. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, Amen

~Jessi

Spiritual Freeway

We were driving home after visiting the Mount Timpanogos Temple and Brad had fallen asleep. I was driving on the freeway when I noticed a sign that said "Going to Zion?" I prayed to my Heavenly Father asking "Am I? Am I intentionally heading towards Zion?" I got distracted with cars cutting me off, trying to be aware of other cars around me. I started thinking how driving on the freeway was like life. You're headed for Zion (in this case, the mountains) and you have all these ad signs, people, distractions, on and off ramps to different places. The ads say "Come here and I'll give you this,"  "Spend your money on me, and you won't regret it," trying to tempt you off the freeway. There are people who come into your life who try to stop your progress by cutting you off, getting you to hit the brakes so you slow down on your path. So much goes on around you and you have to be aware of it to avoid it, move into another lane that's safer, or ignore it because it isn't your priority like getting to Zion or the Celestial Kingdom is. Satan uses so many tools to tempt us in this world from desires to "road rage." Sometimes it can feel so overwhelming and noisy and it's okay to pull over and have a quiet time with the Lord. I get times where my world feels so loud I have to stop and refocus with Him. As you drive, praying to Him is how you know which way to go, and He helps you see people coming who aren't paying attention and can get close to you or cut you off, and He said to brake or back away from them, or even helping you avoid the philosophies of men posing as Gospel truths. I had that happen recently. I came across a news article that had me so confused because it didn't feel right. I had to stop and catch my breath to think clearly, and the Lord confirmed to me is wasn't based on truth. Brad later told me the author was a "member" but she taught stuff that didn't line up with the Lord's teachings, so I got back "on the road" again.

We are all different kinds of cars with different backgrounds, but we're all cars (humans) who can help each other along the path home to the Celestial Kingdom (mountains) instead of fighting to be number 1 or the winner. We're all winners as we help and serve those along the path and those who aren't. Jesus said "when he do it unto one of the least of these my brethren, he have done it unto me."

"Going to Zion?" To that I can say "Yes! Are you coming with me?" Along with that sign I'd like to say "Is there someone I can help along that path, and if so, how can I do it?" The Lord needs to be your priority because without Him, we cannot make it home. He is there, waiting for you to let Him in. We all could use more kindness in this fallen world. Be that kindness, every day. 

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

~Jessi

Spiritual Trainer

When I was a young boy, my dad would take me to Utah Jazz basketball games. I remember getting there early and sitting in the stands waiting for the game to start. I'd see players doing lay-up drills, practicing their shooting, the regular warmups. Then I'd see some players sitting or laying on the floor in what looked like uncomfortable positions, and other guys pushing the players' arms and legs in weird ways. My dad told me they were trainers helping the players be ready for the game. But it sure didn't look fun to me. 

So, what do basketball trainers do? I mean, besides pushing players' arms and legs in weird ways. I got curious the other day and looked up what the responsibilities of a basketball trainer were. I won't go into full detail, but here's the basic gist of what I found: 

Trainers give important one on one time to each player. Why is this important? Because we're not all the same. Each player has a different training program that focuses on his individual strengths and weaknesses. It's like Albert Einstein is quoted to have said - "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." A trainer gives players different tools to help them go from where they are to where they need to be. A trainer focuses on prevention by assigning and helping with stretching, exercise routines, strategies, and proper technique. He makes sure the player is wearing the proper shoes, has a safe court surface to play on, gets the proper nutrition, and helps with the player's overall physical, mental and psychological health. When a player gets injured, the trainer helps with rehabilitation, with tools and exercises that gradually bring the player back to their full physical and mental ability on the court. But you know what the real kicker is? The player has to actually follow the program the trainer gives him, otherwise it doesn't do him any good. 

In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe that we have our own personal trainer on our journey through mortality. Our trainer is the Holy Ghost. He gives us important one on one time that focuses on our specific individual needs. We are promised that we can have Him always with us so long as we heed His promptings. He warns us of danger, gives us inspiration, helps us choose right from wrong. If I sat and thought long enough, there are many, many other ways the Holy Ghost is like a basketball trainer. And of course, just like a trainer, listening to the Holy Ghost and following His promptings is imperative, otherwise it does you no good. 

What tools does the Holy Ghost give you? What experiences have you had with your spiritual trainer that have left a mark on your life?

~Brad Hill

Spiritual light bulb

What would you do if you saw a light bulb had gone out in your house? What if there were other light bulbs that worked around it? Would you change it, or wait until you noticed it get darker? Would you notice if it did get darker, or would the difference be so small until you realize you remembered the room being brighter, and then you looked up? 

I noticed in our bathroom a while ago that it seemed to be dimmer than I remembered, but instead of looking up at the light, I just turned on the lights above the bathroom mirror and chalked it up to just being my perception being off. The other day it bothered me that it really seemed darker than before, so I decided to look up. I saw it. Darkness where there should've been light. I thought "Oh, no big deal, I'll change the light bulb later." Later came and went as it does when you put something off. I learned to live with the dimness in our bathroom. I'd look up and say to myself that I need to change it, but I'd do it later. 

Tonight, I've had thoughts come to my mind that I didn't want, so when I couldn't find my phone to listen to music, I started singing Hymns in the shower. But the words were harder to bring too my mind than they used to be. I noticed my darkness. I thought "Oh, I should start memorizing Hymns again. I'll do it later." I thought this as I was drying my hair, and as I hung up my towel, I saw the darkness where there was supposed to be light, and the words came to my mind (not in my voice), "How long are you going to take to change the light?" I knew immediately that the Lord wasn't referring to a dead light bulb, but the dead spiritual "light bulb" in me. I'd stopped singing Hymns, stopped trying to learn new ones. I'd slowly stopped studying about the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and I stopped trying to keep my "light" going, and slowly it started to dim. I thought "Oh, I should do better," and yet I let my light slowly grow dimmer by barely doing anything to keep it going. What i did to lit it a little, but only for a short while before it dimmed again, and before I knew it I was dark having the Lord ask me "How long are you going to take to change the light?" Slowly i adjusted myself to the darkness instead of changing my light. If my light had gone from bright to completely dark, I would've noticed and done something about it. But Satan didn't work that way. He takes you one small tiny step at a time until you find yourself in the dark trying to figure out what happened and wondering how you ended up that far down before you realized it. 

Don't get yourself so busy you don't notice until later. Keep your mind open, take those moments of quiet and do a spiritual check to see where you're going right and where you need work. Life isn't supposed to be go go go to where you are so exhausted you can't do a spiritual checkup with the Lord. Whether you do it every day or however often is between you and the Lord, but just make sure it gets done. Make sure to be willing to listen! He can't help us to see our light if we aren't listening as well as talking to Him. I started to see signs but I still thought "I'll do it later," which is just like "I'm fine, really, all is well in Zion." But the Lord needs active warriors who are awake and watching, not passive observers who say "My Lord delayeth His coming." Before you know it, He's here, and you're on His left side. 

Check your light often and do not procrastinate the day of your repentance. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

~Jessi Hill 

I Asked

I wrote this poem years ago when praying earnestly for my wife during a time of intense trial. Notice how it started out as pleading for her relief, but it turned into a revelation about her need for suffering in preparation for greater things. I titled the poem "I Asked." I hope you enjoy it. 

~Brad 

I asked if He would take away her pain and transfer it to me. 

He said "I won't. She needs the pain. It gives her strength. Just wait and see."

I asked if He would take away her worries, free her from her cares. 

He said "In time. Her worries remind her to come to me in prayer."

I asked if He would take her past, erase it from her memory. 

He said "Her past will help her comfort others when they stand in need."

I asked if He would help her feel the joy and love beyond the hurt.

He said "I'm doing that through YOU, each time you put your family first."

~Brad Hill

Spiritual Dominos

When someone sets up dominos, he sets them up in a way that, once one is put into motion, the rest fall in order to the desired end, also known as a "domino effect." These dominos can be set up in a straight line, a curve, in a given shape, or even in different directions at the same time. All the pieces must be in perfect order to receive the desired outcome, i.e. starting at one end and flawlessly going through the entire arrangement to the other end. Our lives are one giant domino effect. Every decision we make causes us to go in a specific direction. We all start in the same place...birth. However, we will not all end in the same place. Our decisions will determine where we end up, whether it be in the Celestial, Terrestrial, or Telestial Kingdom, or in Outer Darkness. I made decisions all throughout my childhood that shaped who I became as an adult. Some of those decisions weren't the best, and caused me to be blinded to certain truths I had learned as a child. I chose to quit going to church for a period of time. I chose to hang out with friends who did and encouraged things that were against my personal beliefs and the counsel of the Church. I chose to not go on a mission even though my parents encouraged it. Then I met my first wife, and chose to straighten up and start going to church again. However, due to various reasons, I decided to quit going to church again. I made decisions throughout our marriage that ultimately led to leaving her and ending the marriage. I made the decision to start smoking and drinking and participating in activities contrary to the Church again. I made the decision to live in West Valley near where I lived previously with my ex-wife. All of these decisions led me to meet my current wife and her 3 kids. I decided to move in with her, and after a short time I decided to propose marriage to her. After we were married we both decided (she decided first and I followed) that we needed to start going back to church. We decided to quit smoking and work our way to the temple. These decisions led us to be called as Primary teachers. In receiving this calling, we decided to be more diligent in teaching our kids from the scriptures and in Family Home Evening. All of these decisions ( and more) have led me where I am today. If any one of these decisions had differed, I would be in a completely different situation. God has set out our dominos. They go in all different directions, and we choose which direction we take them. If we took out any one piece of this domino effect, the whole thing would be forced to go in a different direction. God has set the final domino in His Kingdom in Heaven, and He wants us all to end up returning Home to Him. He has given us the scriptures, prayer, parents, and Church leaders to help us find our way to that final domino. I hope and pray that I will make it there, and I know I am the only one who can determine that. I hope and pray that each one of you will make it there as well. There is the straight and narrow path laid out for us through the example of our Savior, Jesus Christ, and there are many off roads. But through baptism, repentance, and continually striving to keep the commandments, the dominos can always lead back to the straight and narrow, and if we remain faithful, we will reach the final domino, even the highest degree of glory, the Celestial Kingdom, to live with Heavenly Father and His Son for eternity.

~Brad Hill 

Lepers and Rays

In Luke 17:11-19, it tells the story of 10 lepers. Jesus Christ heals them all, yet only one comes back. Jesus says "Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine?" verse 17.

Imagine you have a debilitating disease raging in your body that has left you ostracized from society, disfigured, and disabled. People see you and run away screaming as it is viewed as a curse from God. You're with a group of others who also have the disease, when in the distance you see Jesus, the One everyone talks about. Everyone with you pleads "Jesus, Master, have mercy on us." verse 13. He tells you to "Go shew yourselves unto the priests." verse 14. As you walk that way to do as He commanded, you see yourself become clean from this disease! How wonderful! Your life looked bleak, with nothing more to look forward to than the sweet release of death. But here you are, clean! Jesus truly is the Son of God. Which Leper do you choose to be? Out of the ten men only one, upon seeing he had been healed, went back glorifying God, his face at the feet of Jesus giving Him thanks and gratitude for this blessing that meant the world to him. Are we the nine, or are we the one. Jesus says to him "Arise, go thy way: thy faith hath made thee whole." verse 19.

I asked myself "Which leper am I?" I answered "I want to be the one." How do I choose to be the one? How do I choose to be and act grateful for the healing and blessings in my life? Studying my scriptures, sincerely praying, keeping His commandments, inviting Him to always be with me. By doing as the Savior has done. He teaches us when we are little to study our scriptures, say our prayers, treat others kindly, keep our covenants, keep His commandments. These primary answers are rays of light. As we do them continuously, those small rays add up every day. As we endure by following His way, those days will add up to be a pillar of light, as explained by Elder Alexander Dushku in his talk "Pillars and Rays" (G.C. April 2024).

I testify that to become the one who comes back, our everyday, seemingly small effort will one day become a pillar if we but endure daily until the end. I so testify in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

P.S. From our last blog post, the shirt came clean, and so can you through faith in Him.

~Brad Hill 

Spiritual Apron

I was cooking breakfast for dinner. Waffles, pancakes, eggs, and bacon (apparently I did really good on the bacon, because Brad was like "Oh my gosh that was the absolute best bacon I have ever tasted!", even though he's not usually excited about eating bacon). When I started cooking the bacon, I thought about going downstairs and getting my cooking apron, but decided against it and continued cooking. When it was time to get ready for bed (of course this was long after the food was ready, we ate it, and Brad came home and scarfed it all and raved about my amazing bacon cooking skills), I looked at my shirt and saw several grease stains. I was immediately sorry for not taking the small amount of time it would've taken to run downstairs and get my apron. I knew how much time it would take to treat the stains on my shirt and praying I could get all of them out. One lazy moment turned into more work for me. I finally got the stain remover on my shirt (a couple of weeks later) and the remover has to sit for another week on it.

While you will get "dirty" living in the world (cooking), having that apron on (keeping the commandments, keeping yourself "unspotted from the world") will keep most of it off. If you decide that keeping the commandments isn't that important or that they are constricting and embarrassing, you aren't protecting yourself from the difficult and challenging process of repentance that will surely come as a result. Our Heavenly Father does give us the gift of the Atonement (the "stain remover") and promises that nothing shall be impossible with Him. But He also gives us the gift of commandments to help make the cleanup (repentance) easier as we choose to use it.

~Jessi Hill 

Spiritual Breaking

Repentance and forgiveness are wonderful principles of the Lord's Church. I have had so much pain and guilt over the abuse I did to my kids. Even though I was trying to overcome my sin throughout the years, for me it didn't feel like it was enough. The Lord has forgiven me a long time ago, yet I hold forgiveness from myself thinking I didn't deserve it. I have finally allowed myself to forgive myself and let the Atonement of Jesus Christ work fully in my life. I let myself know it was okay to forgive myself, that I wasn't saying what I did was okay. I was saying it was okay to let the Atonement of Jesus work in my life the way it was meant to work. When I held onto the guilt and pain, because I was punishing myself, I wasn't able to grow. I'm not able to forgive others. It's like trying to drive a car by pushing on the gas and brake pedal at the same time. Eventually your engine is going to give out. I've learned from my mistakes, my sins, and I've given them to God. I've allowed my Savior to wash me clean in His blood. I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father who loves us so much that He sent His Only Begotten Son to die so we may become clean and that Jesus Christ willingly came to earth to atone and die for us. I testify that you are never too far from the light and love of Jesus Christ to change and become clean from our sins. He is there with His outstretched hand waiting for you to grab hold of Him. My life is an example of this. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

~Jessi Hill 

Spiritual Thumbprint

I was born on July 7, 1984 at 3:30 in the morning. The doctor asked my mom about getting me circumcised right away, but my mom felt uneasy about it and said she needed to be ready, and she wasn't ready yet. My parents didn't want me to be in the hospital overnight, so they brought me home that day. I had been given a shot in my left heel, and it had been bleeding. My dad held me throughout the night, trying to stop the bleeding with his right index finger on my heel and his thumb on the top of my foot. He bought some gauze for it and held onto my foot all night. By early morning, he was quite concerned and he decided to take me to the hospital to find out why my blood just wouldn't clot. They ran tests and finally gave me a vitamin k shot, and my blood finally started to clot like it's supposed to. It wasn't for another couple weeks that I was circumcised, and my mom was told that if I had been circumcised the day I was born, before I had received that vitamin k shot, I could have bled to death. To this day, almost 41 years later, I have a mark on the top of my left foot, with a purplish color to it and my veins sticking out, on the exact spot my dad's thumb held onto my little foot as he kept the bleeding from my heel at bay until he could take me to the hospital and get me the help I needed. Today, I often tell people that I have my dad's thumbprint on my foot as evidence that he protected me. 

Our Father in Heaven has given us, His children, "thumbprints" evidencing His love and protection in our spiritual infancy and throughout our lives. We each are given the Light of Christ, enabling us to discern between good and evil. He's given us the earth we live on, the air we breath, the blood running through our veins, and many, many other things. 

What thumbprints have you seen in your life? What are some ways you can tell He loves you and cares about you as His child? 

~Brad Hill 

Spiritual Lambert

Lambert was a lion who was mistakenly delivered to a sheep by the stork. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fit in with the other lambs, and they made fun of him. When he was older, a wolf came after the flock. Lambert was scared and didn't know what to do. When the wolf started chasing his mom, and he heard her crying for help, something snapped inside him, and he was a raging lion. He roared and attacked the wolf, saving his mom and the rest of the flock. 

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we know our identity. We learn from a young age that we are children of our Heavenly Father.  Satan can't tempt us while we are young until we come to the age of accountability (8 years of age) like a full grown lion like Lambert. The wolf comes in trying to take it away from us, or rather, trying to get us to give it to him. That's where fear comes in. Lambert was raised to be afraid of wolves, because wolves are predators of sheep. So when one comes, he instinctively feels fear, which we also do at times. I do it a lot. He hears his mother's cries yet he still hides, but when he SEE'S the wolf about to get her, a deeper instinct kicks in, a spiritual instinct where a need to protect his mother outweighed his fear.

I go off off fear sometimes as I go through life. I feel a lot like Lambert in that way. Raised with the need of fear to protect myself. Satan attacks more hoping I'll stay in my fear mode (there are many modes he hopes to keep us in but we'll focus on this one for now), keep hiding, cowering, and not notice he is taking our belief in our identity (or belief in who we are). No one, including Satan, can take away who we are and we can't give it away, it's only our belief and faith in who we are that Satan takes. We hear the adversary coming, even if we don't realize it. We cower in fear, whether that comes out as not defending the church when we hear it being attacked, or going along with the crowd even though we know their activities don't follow church standards. When we are able to SEE our spiritual identity, our spiritual instinct kicks in, and we let the spiritual lion inside us out! We take our "Mother" from the wolf and tell him where he can go. We call upon the power of our Savior Jesus Christ and are able to chase off the wolf, or cast Satan out of our presence.

What identity are we protecting? We are children of God. We are children of a Lion. There is nothing higher and holier than being a child of God. Satan wants us to believe we're nothing. He wants us to forget our identity because it's powerful knowledge against him. If we exercise our faith in being a child of God, we have power over the devil.

I challenge you, if you have doubts and fears concerning your spiritual identity,  to go back to what you've been taught as a young child. Remember the truths you've received, and talk to your Heavenly Father, who created you and loves you. I echo the words of Elder Kazuhiko Yamashita in the August 2014 edition of the Friend Magazine: "I am thankful that we know who we are so we can be strong - just like Lambert."

~Jessi Hill