Spiritual Breaking

Repentance and forgiveness are wonderful principles of the Lord's Church. I have had so much pain and guilt over the abuse I did to my kids. Even though I was trying to overcome my sin throughout the years, for me it didn't feel like it was enough. The Lord has forgiven me a long time ago, yet I hold forgiveness from myself thinking I didn't deserve it. I have finally allowed myself to forgive myself and let the Atonement of Jesus Christ work fully in my life. I let myself know it was okay to forgive myself, that I wasn't saying what I did was okay. I was saying it was okay to let the Atonement of Jesus work in my life the way it was meant to work. When I held onto the guilt and pain, because I was punishing myself, I wasn't able to grow. I'm not able to forgive others. It's like trying to drive a car by pushing on the gas and brake pedal at the same time. Eventually your engine is going to give out. I've learned from my mistakes, my sins, and I've given them to God. I've allowed my Savior to wash me clean in His blood. I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father who loves us so much that He sent His Only Begotten Son to die so we may become clean and that Jesus Christ willingly came to earth to atone and die for us. I testify that you are never too far from the light and love of Jesus Christ to change and become clean from our sins. He is there with His outstretched hand waiting for you to grab hold of Him. My life is an example of this. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

~Jessi Hill