Spiritual Breaking

Repentance and forgiveness are wonderful principles of the Lord's Church. I have had so much pain and guilt over the abuse I did to my kids. Even though I was trying to overcome my sin throughout the years, for me it didn't feel like it was enough. The Lord has forgiven me a long time ago, yet I hold forgiveness from myself thinking I didn't deserve it. I have finally allowed myself to forgive myself and let the Atonement of Jesus Christ work fully in my life. I let myself know it was okay to forgive myself, that I wasn't saying what I did was okay. I was saying it was okay to let the Atonement of Jesus work in my life the way it was meant to work. When I held onto the guilt and pain, because I was punishing myself, I wasn't able to grow. I'm not able to forgive others. It's like trying to drive a car by pushing on the gas and brake pedal at the same time. Eventually your engine is going to give out. I've learned from my mistakes, my sins, and I've given them to God. I've allowed my Savior to wash me clean in His blood. I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father who loves us so much that He sent His Only Begotten Son to die so we may become clean and that Jesus Christ willingly came to earth to atone and die for us. I testify that you are never too far from the light and love of Jesus Christ to change and become clean from our sins. He is there with His outstretched hand waiting for you to grab hold of Him. My life is an example of this. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

~Jessi Hill 

Spiritual Thumbprint

I was born on July 7, 1984 at 3:30 in the morning. The doctor asked my mom about getting me circumcised right away, but my mom felt uneasy about it and said she needed to be ready, and she wasn't ready yet. My parents didn't want me to be in the hospital overnight, so they brought me home that day. I had been given a shot in my left heel, and it had been bleeding. My dad held me throughout the night, trying to stop the bleeding with his right index finger on my heel and his thumb on the top of my foot. He bought some gauze for it and held onto my foot all night. By early morning, he was quite concerned and he decided to take me to the hospital to find out why my blood just wouldn't clot. They ran tests and finally gave me a vitamin k shot, and my blood finally started to clot like it's supposed to. It wasn't for another couple weeks that I was circumcised, and my mom was told that if I had been circumcised the day I was born, before I had received that vitamin k shot, I could have bled to death. To this day, almost 41 years later, I have a mark on the top of my left foot, with a purplish color to it and my veins sticking out, on the exact spot my dad's thumb held onto my little foot as he kept the bleeding from my heel at bay until he could take me to the hospital and get me the help I needed. Today, I often tell people that I have my dad's thumbprint on my foot as evidence that he protected me. 

Our Father in Heaven has given us, His children, "thumbprints" evidencing His love and protection in our spiritual infancy and throughout our lives. We each are given the Light of Christ, enabling us to discern between good and evil. He's given us the earth we live on, the air we breath, the blood running through our veins, and many, many other things. 

What thumbprints have you seen in your life? What are some ways you can tell He loves you and cares about you as His child? 

~Brad Hill