Moving Boxes of Love

There is a moving box that is sitting in my living room and as I was pondering what else I could write in my journal, I realized that the handle of the box is in shape of an upside down heart and an idea for a blog came to my mind. Whenever we move, I have the bad habit of overfilling the boxes beyond capacity and they become too heavy to carry. I overstretch myself or those who have come to help me, more than they should have had to. Now let's take this imagine, but let's imagine it'swith a box that is filled just enough to do a healthy stretch (it can still hurt, but it's not overstretching like with the first box). What would be different about the outcome? President Johnson said it best during the Relief Society Broadcast "You can do hard with Jesus or you can do hard alone. That is your choice, but when you do hard with Jesus Christ the hard becomes holy". In our move of life, we have many kinds of boxes we carry like family, work, serving, infirmities, even ones we make ourselves like sins and mistakes. As you load your boxes carefully, intentionally with the Lord, your boxes are more likely going to stretch you, but not beyond what you can handle. At times they may feel like you're going to break, they are your refiner's fire. If you carry them with Jesus Christ, you grow in ways you couldn't without this trial, this hard time in your life. I'm going to get personal for a moment. This last couple of months has felt like I've been drugged through hell with only a fishers line to hold onto. For the first little while it seemed certain foods caused pain and sickness to where I couldn't eat or drink for a long time, but not the same foods every time. Slowly it got better with a certain medication but it was still there so I was sent to a surgeon to see if a scope could tell me what was going on. We decided to try Omeprazole at a higher dose to see if that would help. The first week I noticed it didn't seem to be working but I decided to give it time. I was hurting and I decided to get off of the Omeprazole without talking to my dr. first and telling him what I was experiencing. After I got off of it, things got worse and I can barely eat enough to have energy for a short time then feel like my body needed more but I struggled with the horrible pain in my stomach, nausea, and eating became my worst enemy. We finally decided to do the scope on my stomach and my stomach is red and inflamed but he expected to find more than there was and was baffled what was going on. He put me on meds to take care of the infection and we're meeting again next week. I have been on my knees begging, crying for relief more than I had been before and even though It got worse because of a careless choice I made, He is still with me through all of this and I've come to learn that the fishing line I'm holding onto through hell, is His line for me. He has felt everything I've ever felt including this. He came with comfort, with a lesson for me, and beautiful spiritual experiences I wouldn't trade anything for. There is a song by Hilary Weeks called "Beautiful Heartbreak". She says she found a mountain in the middle of her road, she couldn't do anything, but climb it. She had many nights of begging for Him to take it away, crying for relief, and she gets to the top of this mountain and she wouldn't trade one moment because she couldn't see this view without the pain. I testify that pain is apart of our mortal journey, but He doesn't leave you comfortless along your path. He's there carrying you even if all you feel is alone, afraid and forgotten. I know He hasn't forgotten you, nor forsaken you. He loves you because you are His. Keep holding on to that iron rod with faith in Him that He is there, He does love you, and He is always aware of you. This I solemnly testify in the name of His beloved Son, Jesus Christ, Amen.

Jessi H.